Inside the Head of a Leadership Coach – What I Know Now – Part I:
I recently invited my personal network into my coaching world by asking them to join me in a first-ever personal development series. I touted how this work has helped clients personally and professionally.
What I really wanted them to understand was how this journey has changed ME. But I held back and didn’t really tell anyone that part. My fear of making friends feel obligated to join me kept me from telling them the personal side of the “why”. It is easier to talk about client impact. Funny that I teach the importance of personal connection and missed it here for fear of being too pushy.
My friend, Kathryn suggested I share the “me” piece to the story, to finish what I started in inviting them to join in. Thank goodness for wise and honest friends.
I am blessed to be able to help clients find their best leadership path through the programs I teach. Here is just a start of what I have learned and why I want to share it. Hands down – I’m a better person. And I am just beginning.
What My Coaching Journey Has Taught Me:
– Being right is overrated and doesn’t truly land me in the win column. Learning what “right” looks like to others opens my eyes to a whole new world. And that is a more meaningful win.
– Judgement holds me back and flaunts my insecurities. Being curious and open is a much better approach. True leaders do this. It is brave. I keep striving.
– The way I make decisions under stress shows the world a me that I don’t like. Learning to respond rationally is one of my greatest struggles and worth every second of my time.
– Labeling myself as “busy” isn’t a badge of honor or even unique. Who feels un-busy these days? Calm, capable and in control is how I want to show up and be perceived.
– I used to let my past define me. I always put lipstick on it with fancy positive language but deep down I was determined to “never let it happen again.” Impossible. I don’t control results. I only control the process and how I behave. I spend time here.
– I bring more to conversations by listening than speaking. Because I love contributing, this is hard as hell for me. But what I discovered – I was really just waiting to chime in more than to truly understand what the other person wanted to share. That is not how I want to show up.
This is only the beginning of a long list. Email me at deborahdegner@
Keep living intentionally.